march 27th (posted march 28th), 2026 | in a way, to be queer, always felt like FREEDOM. CONTENT WARNING for queerphobia

to walk through the forest and walk on the small, more calm, more subtle path to get to your home more easily,
to know I don't have to walk on the big, outlined road, if i do not want to,
to know theres no need for a boy and a girl to be together,
It felt freeing. Very.
Freedom of love, freedom of gender,
I was lucky enough to have my parents not restrict me with the way I have presented myself
With my father, during a refugee testimony-giving,
Stating one of his kids is "of unchosen gender"
To be of Unchosen Gender IS freedom. Freedom of not picking a road, in that sense
And to be queer for me has so little to do with identity or attraction,
It has everything to do with the way I talk to the world and the world talks to me, instead


I have to admit though
At some point,
I run out of privelege
I run out of people who were keeping me safe,
With my sister growing up to think trans people are weird , or,
My mother saying asexuality is a sign of being ill
Or
With my queer friends, ones I grew up with and always have loved,
Abandoning me when my identity has became,
Just a little bit,
"Too queer"



To be Too Queer for Queer People sounds, well, funny
When i talk to my straight friends they dont say they understand
The thing is though, the path that I was taking, walking home,
Is predetermined
As much as I love to say I took an alernative route,
There is no doubt in saying,
That route wasnt made by me.
I havent fought in revolutions
I haven't been there when the community emerged
I know that sure as well,
I never was in a bar

To throw bricks at some cops.
I missed out on the things that made queer community queer. I am a baby, walking in their footsteps, trying not to fall
The thing is,
The footsteps they have placed onto the earth,
Are painful
For me to walk on with my baby foot.


For a queer,
I am,


Too queer

Inventing words that people within my own communnity wouldnt understand
And writing poetry too vague for them to handle
I am asexual, repulsed, aro, dont really drink,
And for the purpose of a gay male,
Im a failure.
My feminine nature feels like a badge of shame, not of honour,
I can only help myself by borrowing someone else's word
I can talk so loudly and study queer history forever but
The longer i spend with my fellow people the more i think


Freedom of one person ends where freedom of another's begins,
And
In a forest that goes home for us both,
On that pathway i found years ago
The only thing they have to say is
"Move"
Wanna ask "why",
Same reply
"To be queer is to walk a path of FREEDOM,
And you, with your constant demands
For a better future and for respect for your people,

Are standing in my fucking way."

♿ 🖤 🩶 🤍 💜
strawberry-transneu / avrum, 27th of march, 2026. written while having a fever